155 EXT. HAL'S VW, COUNTRY HIGHWAY - DAY 155
Hal wades into the tall grass with his butterfly net. Will
follows behind him.
WILL
So this was your idea?
HAL
Well, look, your mother and I had an
agreement. We came up with a list of
things that we were each committed to
changing, in order to make our
marriage work. Anything from "Stop
treating me like I'm a little girl"
to "make a decision about your
parents' couch" -- you know, that one
that's falling apart in the basement?
Hal stops and puts his arm out to stop Will from disturbing
the insects in his sample plot.
HAL
(continuing)
Now everything on my side of the list
has been checked off. I've made big
changes. Behavior that's been
engrained for years. I've changed it.
Your mother hasn't accomplished one
thing on her side of the list. She
can't even deal with the damn couch.
Hal wades mechanically through the tall grass wielding his
net. He comes back toward Will with a netful of bugs and
leaves.
HAL
(continuing)
She's essentially said that she'd
rather separate than deal with her
dad's couch. So what am I supposed to
do?
156 A NETFUL OF INSECTS DROPS INTO A BIG JAR OF ALCOHOL. 156
157 INT. PSYCH WARD, PING-PONG ROOM - DAY 157
Will patiently serves the ball to Claudia, who is much more
interested in having Will's undivided attention than in
hitting the ball. She misses his easiest serve and shuffles
after the ball.
CLAUDIA
Oops.
Claudia throws the ball to him. Mrs Sandow pokes her head
into the room.
MRS SANDOW
Will?
Will puts his paddle down on top of the ball and follows her
INTO
158 INT. PSYCH WARD - DAY 158
Will and Mrs Sandow walk across the hall
INTO
159 INT. MRS SANDOW'S OFFICE - DAY 159
Will sits down next to Lucy. Mrs Sandow sits in a chair next
to Hal. Will looks at Lucy -- she has bandages on her wrists.
MRS SANDOW
So, it's been quite a week hasn't it?
HAL WILL
Yeah. Yeah.
MRS SANDOW
We have alot to talk about.
Everyone nods agreement.
MRS SANDOW
(continuing)
We've been talking about your
parents' getting separated. Have you
talked to your father about this?
WILL
Yeah.
MRS SANDOW
And how do you feel about it?
WILL
Well... If they both agree that it's
the best thing, then I don't really
know what else you can say about it.
I mean, if they're just making each
other unhappy, I guess it's the best
thing. I guess I'd rather that they
could get along and stay together.
But it seems like they aren't, so, I
don't know. I don't know what else
you can say about it.
Lucy forces out a straight-line smile for him.
MRS SANDOW
Well? Should we talk a little about
the trouble you got into this week?
WILL
I guess.
MRS SANDOW
What happened?
WILL
Well, I smoked some of this lettuce-
stuff with a friend of mine and his
mother came home and totally freaked
out.
HAL
She didn't totally freak out.
WILL
Well, she thought we were smoking
pot, so she called Dad and made him
go down to her house and talk to her
for like two hours.
And then, on Saturday night, she
called him again and he had to go
down there and talk to her for
another two hours. Which is weird,
cuz' I can't imagine what she can
find to talk about for four hours,
when we weren't even smoking real pot.
HAL
Well, she's got it in her head that
it was.
WILL
Yeah, well, I'd like to see her prove
it.
HAL
I don't think that's really the issue
here.
WILL
I think the issue is that Mrs Fishman
is a witch.
HAL
Will, just because she caught you
doing something that you weren't
supposed to be doing, doesn't mean
she's a bad person.
WILL
No, but the fact that she's blaming
me for something that I didn't do
does.
HAL
Well, let's concentrate more on what
you did, and less on Mrs Fishman.
There's a moment where Will fumes.
LUCY
Smoking is really bad, Will. You
shouldn't get into that.
HAL
I agree.
WILL
I know, I won't get into it.
HAL
And there's the issue of the lab
equipment, too.
WILL
Yeah. Well, I'm sorry about that, too.
MRS SANDOW
And what was that?
WILL
I took one of Dad's subterfuges.
MRS SANDOW
His subterfuges?
HAL
What?
There's a nervous second or two, where Hal thinks that Will
might be onto him.
WILL
The bottle.
Hal looks at Will quizzically. Lucy wakes up. Hal LAUGHS.
HAL
Oh! You don't mean subterfuge, he
means the flask -- the glassware. He
made ... he took a bottle out of my
lab.
WILL
I thought you called it a subterfuge.
HAL
No No No. That's what you engaged in
when you took it. A subterfuge is ...
uhh... a sneaky deception. An act of
deception.
WILL
Oh.
Mrs Sandow and Lucy CHUCKLE. Mrs Sandow winks at Lucy.
MRS SANDOW
You don't want ot be stealing your
Dad's subterfuges.
MUSIC
Will hardly hears the rest of Hal's monolog -- his brain is
working. The misunderstanding seems to have lightened the
mood some. Mrs Sandow and Lucy CONTINUE TO CHUCKLE.
HAL
And what I was saying to Will was --
it's fairly normal for kids to
experiment with things like
smoking -- it doesn't make it OK
but -- it's fairly normal. But the
way that he smuggled that flask out
of my lab, speaks to a kind of
deception that worries me. It
undermines my trust.
Hal notices Will is smirking.
HAL
(continuing)
What's so funny?
WILL
Is that like you telling me that you
were going down to Mrs Fishman's to
talk when you were really going there
to make out?
Will chuckles.
HAL
What?
This jolts everyone. All eyes are suddenly on Will, who does
his best impression of MRS FISHMAN'S THROATY VOICE.
WILL
Oh, Hal, It's you.
Hal looks at Lucy. Lucy looks from Hal to Will. For once, Hal
has nothing to say. Mrs Sandow looks like she just woke up to
a housefire.
MRS SANDOW
I'm sorry, what?
Will feels the sudden vacuum in the room and it scares the
shit out of him. He sits there like a deer in the headlights.
Hal stares at a vacant corner of the room -- mind racing, and
slowly turns to look at Will, trying to figure out how his
son could have heard this distinctly familiar utterance.
HAL
What are you talking about?
Lucy knows her son is telling the truth and she gets up and
walks to the door of the office.
HAL
(continuing)
Lucy.
She goes out. Hal looks at Will angrily and follows Lucy out
the door.
MRS SANDOW
Hal!
Mrs Sandow follows Hal. Will follows her
INTO
160 INT. PSYCH WARD - DAY 160
Lucy is just trying to get away from Hal. First walking, then
running through the tables of SMOKING PSYCHIATRIC PATIENTS.
HAL
He made it up Lucy. It's not true.
MRS SANDOW
Lee!
Lee comes in -- the quitessential man in a white suit.
WILL
He's right, Mom. I made it up. I'm
sorry. I didn't mean it. I was
kidding.
HAL
Lucy!
Lucy overturns a table in front of them and looks around
frantically. She's gone over the edge.
A SKINNY PSYCH PATIENT who's been watching "Love American
Style" on TV cheers her performance.
SKINNY PSYCH PATIENT
Awright Lucy! Whheeeeeeiiiiioooouuuu!
SLOW MOTION
Lucy fixes on a patch of bare wall behind the TV. She RUNS
FULL SPEED with her arms outstretched -- FACE-FIRST INTO THE
WALL.
WILL
Mom!
She rebounds into the TV and falls over -- hands clutching
catatonically at the air.
Mrs Sandow grabs Will and crushes his face into her chest, so
he can't look. He does anyway.